• US BY US COLLECTIVE

Silenced Pleas

Silenced Pleas (Experience)

Without knowing me well, you constructed a reality

Without telling you, I let you wreck my sanity

And because you were so sensitive, I let it happen in silence

I know you’d suffer endlessly if I told you about your violence

It was seemingly loving, and I guess you meant well

I wondered why you didn’t think the same for me, it’s the part you forgot to tell

I gave you the benefit of the doubt, the benefit of naïveté and youth

And you ran around and told your own version of the truth

That’s all good but you could’ve cared enough to ask my side

People don’t pull away when they’re having a good time

I was going through a lot and put myself second for you

Because you were strong-willed and had so many dreams you wanted to come true

I look at you and sometimes feel I hit the goldmine

But that doesn’t excuse the feelings I silence when I say “don’t worry… it’s fine”

It wasn’t fine but since you get so caught up in self blame

There were so many issues I let slip by without giving them a name

I decided it was because we had different experiences

But it’s been some months and now I’m feeling weariness

Can we be on the same page if I read that chapter years ago?

I don’t want this to be something where I lead, and you just follow

Because being the teacher is fun but sometimes, I need a break

I hover over the emergency break reflecting on the heart ache

How can you give me what I need

When I have to slow everything down just to bring you up to speed?

Sometimes to relate to you, I have to conjure my intellectual self

I never had to do that shit with anybody else

I used Palo Santo to cleanse the air once your presence was no longer near

It’s the dissonance I feel once you leave that gives me so much fear

I feel better when you’re not here

& there’s tension because I’m not sure if you should change or simply disappear


Silenced Pleas (Theory)

how do

you negotiate

community ties

when there

aren’t clear boundary lines?

& how can there

be boundaries

when there is no clarity?

we spend so much

time

holding onto ideas of people

and false realities

community

creates

unity

and moments

for fruitful opportunities

but the binaries

we categorize people

in

Are improper groupings

representing what “was”

or what “has been.”

though

categories make the

world easier to understand

They hold our minds

hostage in a binarized dreamlands

so why do we cling

to these labels

and hierarchies

as we build “community”?

why do we hold on to

labels that only fit us “usually”?

the labels make us feel known

but they ultimately create

ambiguity….

in perpetuity

because even if I say “I am ____”

depending on your

expectation

you may make an incorrect

calculation

about my worth,

about who I am to you..

about your place in my life

The labels often leave us further from the truth


Valencia Clement