Letter to JènFi
Hello again, and welcome to my brain farts.
I’ll start by saying I’m no expert on anything, therefore that the following would just be my point of view.
In my mind, I’m speaking to a “young woman”, freshly introduced to the world of fornication.
Dear young one,
Welcome to Sex.
You are now aware of the existence of this deep canal of yours, and are only aware of it now because it has officially been penetrated, visited, spread out... and hurt. Yes, hurt, because for a lot of us, if not most, this first visit is definitely one of the most painful ones. You probably bled and it was probably awkward and painful. Do not fear however, for with time, good, safe and consensual practice, this pain will be nothing more than a memory.
You are also aware as of today of the sexual aspect of this body of yours; and i know you think very little of it, because it doesn’t fit the image you were sold as “a turn on”, but believe me, as you grow, you will fit perfectly into your skin and see yourself for the desirable human that you are.
And listen, you are a bit young, and honestly, had you waited for your mind to grow wiser, it might’ve been a better experience but like i said, it gets better with time if all the right conditions are set up. So I will share with you some advice, hoping you will make good use of it:
Try and practice safe sex always, for your own safety firstly. And if a potential partner would suggest unprotected sex off the bat, be smart enough to bombard them with questions about their sexual health and life, even if it means turning them off. Carry your own contraception as well, in case anyone “forgets” to purchase some.
Get checked for STD’s as often as every 3 months, especially if you plan on having multiple partners and an active sex life, even when you feel perfectly fine. Get checked by a gynecologist at least twice a year just to make sure everything down there is running smoothly.
Explore your sexuality baby girl, get to know your body, your erogenous areas, your kinks, because often times you will be facing someone who won’t know how you function and those times, i urge you to express yourself to them on how you desire to be handled, just like i urge you to put your partner at ease into letting them know they can do the same for you.
Try and practice the habit of self appreciation, and a trick I can suggest for that is to bask in your nudity while blasting music that turns you on in front of a full length mirror, in some sexy clothing and have a night to yourself every once in a while. And the people who feel some type of way about how you look will not have the audacity to come at you with disrespect because confidence reeks from miles away and is always unbothered.
Society will make you feel like it isn’t your place to explore the different spectrums of sexuality, to engage in sexual relations, and will shame you for taking this freedom because misogyny runs deep in this world, but hold your head up and disregard the negativity. After all, your orgasms will make up for all that noise.
With that being said, please never feel as though you owe anyone any sexual favors, and run away from any situation where you feel you are being pressured to do things you don’t want to do. Never be afraid to say no, scream it if needs be, and callout any form of peer pressure you feel you are being the victim of regarding your sexual experiences. If you feel uneasy at any moment, please do yourself the kindness of removing yourself from whatever is happening, and don’t let yourself be guilt tripped into doing anything you had refused to do.
Lastly sweetie, but most importantly, do not let anyone, especially if they are much older than you and seem to be practicing something called “grooming”, do not let them hold you in a ringer’s hold.
Your wings are barely opened my love, older partners will only try and bend them the way they see fit, as they’ve already experienced with their vessels and other people’s and they know what they want in a partner and from them.
They will seem mature and you will be attracted to that illusion but ask yourself this set of questions: why would a mature and experienced adult have a sexual interest in a barely legal child? Why not go for someone as mature and experienced as them?
The simple answer to this is that it’s easier to prey on someone who knows nothing than on someone who knows just as much as you. The longer answer, the more detailed one, the one that goes in deep is much more complicated than that, and you will learn with time and experience.
It is important that you let yourself grow into the beautiful creature you are, preferably without the pressure to become someone else’s ideal version of yourself rather than your own.
With these words I hope you fly to new horizons, better ones each and every time, and succeed at becoming one hell of an aware and liberated woman.
Written by Leila Lherisson