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Introducing Healing by Stephanie Voyard
Healing is an ugly ass process
It is not composed of only the before and after
It's filled with blood sweat and tears
Falling back into old habits is my only fear
You see, this is not some 90 day trial you can sign up for
The end results are never truly the end
This is a lifelong commitment to battle and war
It’s a metamorphosis at the core,
A hallway where portraits of your facades collapse,
And the chaos often screams “relapse!”
Its a race between agony, and will
Between trauma and self- love
And well, you’re running barefoot on the broken glass of your heart
It’s tearing your skin open,
Bleeding reminders of how you’re ill
Day 89, and you’re raging for a refund,
Your heart, head and body ache
Asking the universe for mercy “Where's that healing, for god's sake?”
I’ve tried every cheat sheet to this shit
But my mind won’t stop talking to me,
She just doesn’t quit
I hear her mouth day and night
Whispering sweet nothings of failure and my lack of will to fight
So I shut her up with food
Every. Single. Time.
I have no control over my life, but with this I have some power
You should see the way she cringes
I reduce her to nothing by threatening her life with my frequent binges so give yourself time, energy, and space let go of all those toxic around you feel free to say “fuck you” to anyone you hate speak your mind and don’t hold back learn that healing is an ugly ass process there will be times where you crack and remember in all that darkness and rain that you are unapologetic in your flaws you are understanding how to be a better you and that you, my love, are not a lost cause.
Written by Stephanie Voyard